Evansing – Heart of the Irish Kingdom
Recently I had backed out of my garage and pressed on the garage door closer. Nothing happened. I kept it pressed down as sometimes that is what is necessary to close it. Still nothing happened. I went into the garage and pressed the button there. Once again the door did not close. I looked all around in the area where the door comes down and could not see anything that would affect the door sensor. Then I looked down to the exact line where the door would land. There I noticed a little leaf. I don’t think I seriously thought it would keep the door from closing but I kicked it out of the way. Then I went to my car and clicked the door closer and it closed with no problem.
As I drove away, I started saying to myself, “Little resentment, little bitterness, little unforgiveness.” I repeated it over a few times and then a person came to mind. Someone I care about. As I pondered why they came to mind I realized I had harbored some resentment, some bitterness and unforgiveness. They weren’t big items, just enough to create some distancing and agitation in the relationship. It doesn’t take much to build little walls with others. Our feelers can be incredibly sensitive to little hurts and perceived slights. A relationship can be overwhelmingly good in many ways and yet those little unresolved issues produce an inordinate amount of harassment. They rob us of the full measure of what is available to us in that relationship.
Sometimes we aren’t even aware there is a problem. We know something isn’t quite right. In one sense we look for what could be the issue. Nothing significant comes to mind. Yes, sometimes a certain irritating memory shows up, but it’s not a big deal. Or perhaps a current agitation shows up in how we perceive being treated by that person. We may well wrestle with the issue a bit and then let it lie where it is. It seems of no real consequence after all it is only a little leaf.
Often there are multiple little leaves allowed to build up in a relationship. If we don’t start sweeping them away and out, they can cripple a relationship. Our relationships with loved ones and other key people represent a wealth of experiences that enrichen our lives. To lose them over petty resentments and perceived slights is tragic and unnecessary.
Hanging onto a little leaf to the destruction of an important relationship is like the divorcing couple spending all their assets on legal fees because its “the principle of the thing.” We get so wrapped up with our “rights” being violated that we lose sight of the long-term value of the relationship.
Our most valued relationships will frequently be the most tested. A willingness to surrender our rights will often be required of us. Mature individuals can do this. They will overlook the slights and offenses and forgive as is necessary. Immature persons will not. They think they cannot, but really, they choose not to surrender, overlook and forgive. After all they have ‘rights’.
Edwin, in Evansing, needed to forgive his uncle of harsh treatment he received as a boy. Percival his mentor helped him with the process of forgiveness. In Edwin’s case it was not a little leaf. It was a whole bunch of little leaves and some rather large leaves. It illustrated the importance of forgiveness. All those wounds detracted from Edwin’s ability to do well in his relationship with Greer, his fiancée. Fortunately for Edwin his good friend and mentor would not let Edwin stay insisting on his rights to hate his uncle and continue to be bitter. No mileage in resentments, bitterness and unforgiveness. It will only make you physically, mentally and emotionally unwell.
Edwin’s unforgiveness with his uncle also affected his relationship with Greer. It is like a contagious virus making people ill. Unresolved matters in one relationship creates hot buttons easily agitated in another relationship.
When we choose to forgive, we do one of the noblest and most divine acts humans can do. It brings healing to our bodies, minds and souls. Harboring hard feelings and unforgiveness is a lose, lose way to live life. Yes, unforgiveness can feel unfair and many times it is unfair. The payoff is much greater than keeping a sense of injustice. Your life will be happier, your health will be greater and your relationships will be closer.
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